Silly Stuff
| In The Lobby Of The Playboy Mansion In Beautiful Downtown Keenes, Illinois |
A Texas State
trooper pulled over a
pickup on I-30, near
Texarkana. The
trooper asked, "You
got any ID?" The
driver replied, "'Bout
whut?"
trooper pulled over a
pickup on I-30, near
Texarkana. The
trooper asked, "You
got any ID?" The
driver replied, "'Bout
whut?"
You Know You're From Southern Illinois IF..........
You've never met any celebrities.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I
wanna go with."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
You think that deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
You know if another Illinoisan is from southern, middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of more.
You've never met any celebrities.
You measure distance in minutes.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Six Flags.
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular.
You know several people who have hit a deer.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town I
wanna go with."
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, beer, and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You carry jumper cables in your car.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
You only own 3 spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
You think that deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
You know all 4 seasons: Almost Winter, Winter, Still Winter, and Construction.
You know if another Illinoisan is from southern, middle or northern Illinois as soon as they open their mouth.
There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 of more.
Bubba and Earl, two rednecks from West Virginia, were in a local Wal-Mart
when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five
tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl
won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long
spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba
asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love
spaghetti!"
Earl asked Bubba, "How about you? How's the toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba. "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."
when they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle. They bought five
tickets each at a dollar a pop.
The following week, when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize. Earl
won 1st place, a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra-long
spaghetti. Bubba won 6th prize, a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba
asked Earl how he liked his prize, to which Earl replied, "Great, I love
spaghetti!"
Earl asked Bubba, "How about you? How's the toilet brush?"
"Not so good," replied Bubba. "I reckon I'm gonna go back to paper."